The whole Dayton thing didn't work out. It's unfair to pinpoint it to a certain reason or person. While I love Dayton, and it definitely has its benefits geographically and in a business sense, it just wasn't meant for this time. It kind of ties into our whole band break up. Music is, of course, an important part of my life. We did the TNFN thing for around 5 years, and from the point of when we started to the point when we ended we accomplished most of the goals we set out on. At the same time, I'm a little disappointed in myself for not really putting all of what I had into it. For the last couple months I have been trying to figure out why I don't apply myself and say what I actually need to say. I have made small strides, between actually researching, studying, and applying the things I believe in in my everyday life, and talking about how I feel when I actually need to.
And while I may not be able to do this without sounding too cheesy, actually starting a relationship with someone is a very big deal to me. It's weird considering it has never been a part of my life at all. I have always put a very exact standard on who it would have to be and under what circumstances it would have to fall under. Simply, I just wanted a best friend and someone who actually cares about everything important, and the very few girls before now never got that. Now, since I have it the way I want it, I have to figure out how to make it work.
With my new band, and relationship with Joanne, it will be a lot of work finding a way for the things to coexist, especially since she has more going on in her life right now. Actually having to work for the things I want is just as exciting as scary. It is definitely a new start to my life and I really think I am blessed with the situation I am no matter how difficult it will be.
and oh yeah, daisy leaked (: the second albums this year I will have to buy
excuse the poor writing
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